Real Relationship Builders - Relationships Part 3

Yesterday I offered five dead ends to building relationships - here they are again, but with a more positive twist.

1. Use Linked In, Facebook or other Social networking sites to your advantage.

There is little or no use simply adding people at random as friends. You can still use social networking to your advantage. Remember, these services are only an introduction. If you have been introduced to someone you will still need to make a real-world connection. Whether it is the phone, over coffee or remotely via skype or some other web-based service, you still need to communicate directly with someone to build upon that relationship.

If your business is right for it, adding a group on Facebook or mySpace can help identify “fans” that you can open a dialogue with. Of course commenters on a company blog will also introduce themselves and you should look to develop more meaningful connections with some of them.

2. Proper thank yous after meetings or introductions.

A proper thank you after meeting someone can be very effective if it is personal. Mention something of importance in the note - some common ground. Make it clear that you were paying attention. If there is obvious immediate follow-up, then do it and let your contact know what has been done.

“Dear Sally, great to finally meet yesterday. I was excited to learn of your experience with XYZ. Thanks to your suggestion our team has added some XYZ to our site - I hope it fits with what you were thinking. I look forward to meeting again.”

Also, email is entirely appropriate, but consider the audience. For some people a hand written note will be far more powerful.

3. Sending personal Christmas or other holiday cards

There’s nothing wrong with sending cards at Christmas or another appropriate holiday. But they will only make a difference if you do something that sets you apart - be personal. At the very least, that means a few lines and a personal signature. Do you have a few hundred on your list and you can’t bear the thought of how long it will take? That’s the point - others feel this way and take short cuts. Just a few lines like “John, great working together this year on ABC. I hope that you, Sally, Suzie and Jimmy have a wonderful family holiday together.” will set you apart from the others by a country mile.

4. Taking up golf or tennis.

Golf, tennis, squash, running or some other sport are all great things to take on. The benefits of a healthy lifestyle will pay dividends in every facet of your life, not just business. Having some skills like these when the time is right - a fundraiser golf tournament, or just over conversation will pay dividends without a doubt. You don’t need to be an expert, but if you can reach a level of competence where you can share a social experience then you will have common ground to share with your business associates. It may not mean five hours on the golf course, it might just mean swapping stories, but it will be a real connection.

5. Sending an email or other newsletter.

Newsletters make a great deal of sense for many businesses. But they require proper follow-up to have any role in developing a relationship. Inviting clients to have a role in content - suggestions, profiles etc. will help you connect with them. On a web site a newsletter subscription can connect you with readers - but their real power might be from introducing you to new “fans” that you can connect with in a more personal way.

Relationships are about more than techniques

These five are not the top five relationship builders by any means. I selected them only because they were slight modifications to the five false builders that I posted yesterday. My point? Look beyond the tool or technique to make a personal connection at every turn. There is no technique that can build a proper relationship other than real personal communication. There are many routes to an introduction - and really, that’s what all of these things are. Once the contact has been made it takes good old-fashioned people skills to make a relationship.

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